Write Write Write

I've just added some short stories and previous writings to this blog and hope you enjoy your visit. My intention is to write often here, now. This picture is from a photo shoot this year in January. I've got nudes from my 20s, 30s, 40s and now my 50s. Will I be so brave in my 60s? I do love the camera, even as I've fattened and wrinkled. Lighting, makeup and wardrobe can do wonders. I've worked on an article, off and on for years, about my relationship with my body throughout my life. I can remember being in my mid-twenties and in a yoga class. I managed to accomplish a shoulder stand and it seemed like my stomach fell in my face. "I've got to do something about my stomach," I remember grousing. I weighed around 118 #. Ah, the good old days. Now I would likely smother if I attempted a shoulder stand.

Nudes From My 20's

Blanket Apology

For All My Relations...

This is a note of amends for the future and the past, to both ex-husbands, and my former and current lovers, cousins, blood (and I do mean blood) kin, soul sisters, daughter and her sweet family, acquaintances, friends, enemies, editors, teachers, students, clients, customers, inmate buds, therapists, and most especially to my mother. I'm sure you may feel wronged by some of my writings. We all have our own viewpoint on the things that happened, and as my favorite childhood buddy, Popeye, used to say, "I yam what I yam." But I'm always willing to talk about it. And I love you.

Having the position of truth seeker in a family system and cultural environment that clings to denial no matter the storm, is not a popular place to be. I refuse to be a good girl and sit quietly. After years of therapy, and questioning my own sense of reality, I don't really care whether you love me or not. I need nothing from any of you, and I feel blessed with the liberation in this attitude. My voice is now entirely free, and I will write my perceptions and viewpoints, even if it disturbs the status quo - in both my family and in my culture.

The one that asks the hard questions in a family system or a dominant culture that is full of incest and violence is labeled 'crazy,' called the 'black sheep,' and ostracized by family members and by society. Insanity is a logical choice when faced with overwhelming trauma and confusion. There are many layers of repression and denial that most people choose to live under. To look honestly at the dysfunction would take each individual owning their part in it - the victim and the perpetrator. The dark side is the side that requires secrecy, and controls by shame and guilt. Every one of us has a dark side. And it's time to shine the light, sweeties.

So, know that my writings are at the point of brutal honesty. My truth may not be your truth. If you find yourself offended by something I've written that you think may be about you, first, please, check your ego, then find your sense of humor. If you are thinking of suing me, please be aware that, as always, I am dedicated to getting rid of money as fast as I make it. Thus, I don't have anything you would want, plus, think of the time and energy wasted. Let's just all get along, instead. We can talk about it. OK?